tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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