I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
