well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
you're hired as official boob wrangler
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
