After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
