I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize