Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
fuck your aforementioned shoe
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
