best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
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