haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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