I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
