wake up i wanna do it froggy style
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
