you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
