ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
