The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Randomize