he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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