the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
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She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
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I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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