as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
