guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
