What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
