As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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