i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
