I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
