Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
