i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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