It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize