His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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