what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
