Soap is not a condiment
I bet he comes in French.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize