What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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