We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
