They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
