Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
