I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
