i don't plan on having that self control this summer
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
