thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
