Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
