Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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