Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
