I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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