its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
