she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
