I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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