My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
