Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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