But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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