I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
