I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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