After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You were trust falling into bushes
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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