As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
