So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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