It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
