i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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