Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
