at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
