If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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