I'm jealous of your bromance
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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